(From 1999) I’m not one of those people who talks to plants. I like plants just fine, but I think they should be talking to each other -- chatting about root rot, or pollination, or whatever. I have nothing to say to them. At least, not to most of them. I do have a few choice words for a specific kind of plant: my enemy, my nemesis, and my curse: Creeping Charlie. Creeping Charlie is a distant relative of the mint family, known for their gum. Creeping Charlie has a Latin name, but nobody I know cares what it is. I have some special names for Creeping Charlie, but this is a family oriented newspaper, so I will keep them to myself. Here’s what Creeping Charlie does: it takes over your lawn. It’s like some sort of insidious lawn-rash that spreads until there is no lawn left. From a distance you can’t really notice Creeping Charlie, because it, like grass, is green. And, to its credit, it does have some pretty flowers in the ...
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